In January 2003, at the age of twenty-nine, I suffered a devastating hemorrhagic stroke. The stroke was caused by an undetected malformation of blood vessels on the right side of my brain, and I underwent emergency brain surgery the night of my stroke to stop the massive bleed. I woke up seventeen days later from a drug-induced coma, paralyzed on the left side. In the blink of an eye, our whole lives had changed. I am an only child, and my husband, Dainis, and I were just shy of our fifth wedding anniversary when my stroke occurred. I spent two…
The Gift of the Ordinary (Extraordinary)-Part 2 – by Cheri Swalwell
What started out as an ordinary Friday night turned into a longer-than-decade caregiving journey with my husband. We were young, in our early 30s, forced to travel a road that many doctors couldn’t put a diagnosis to the symptoms he was struggling with daily. Because of that frustration, we began navigating a healthier alternative to his healing. One particular doctor’s appointment still stands out to me. I remember the doctor talking to me while my husband was out of the room, commending me for my continued support of him throughout the years. I didn’t understand exactly what she was saying,…
Respect for the Independent Loved One by Loretta Eidson
After mom passed away, dad grew weaker and didn’t get around well. He was determined to maintain his independence, so he refused to move in with us. Therefore, my sister, Tina, and I had to do tag-team caregiving. Tina worked a full-time job, and I was deep in caregiving for my husband, who had multiple health issues. Not to mention, I lived on the opposite side of town. We called him daily and made sure he had everything he needed, like easily prepared foods, his favorite beverages, a wheelchair, a rollator with a seat on it, a cane, a quad…
Holding Your Hand in a Flame by Darcie J. Steiner
Caregiving isn’t just for older people. In 2000, I began needing care at age 35 after falling down the stairs in our home. My husband Mark was launched into caregiving not only for me but full-time as well for our young daughters. After my fall, I developed a nerve-pain disorder called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. It is very complex and excruciatingly painful. Any slight touch to the skin sent me over the moon in pain. Mark cared for me for five years until my symptoms diminished, and I could again care for myself. Then the unthinkable happened. After fully recovering…
Who Will Open the Door Today? by Tess
I live in the same city as my parents. Today, they still live independently. My mother and father have been married for sixty-two years and have known one another since elementary school. I go over often to spend time with them as often as possible because I know having them in my life is a blessing. Over the past few years, I’ve watched as my father’s memory has slowly declined, and in the past year, the decline seems to have moved to a new level. As I drive to their home many days, I wonder who will open the door…
Peace that Passes All Understanding by Cheri Swalwell
I had thought periodically over the last few years how it would feel when one of my parents would leave this earth and pass into eternity. Would I be able to handle it emotionally? How would it look? Could I be there for my husband and children and surviving parent in the midst of my own grief? All I can say is God, in His great love, gave me a peace that allowed me to travel the remaining days we had with my father-in-law. It was unexplainable and yet I can still feel His overwhelming presence today when I reflect…
Could I have Done More by Mary Jane Holt
Two months before his death my husband said, “Honey, you can live without me, but I can’t live without you. You’ve got to rest more.” His words were true. I have a nursing background which helped me know early on that I would have to make hard choices and pace myself in order to walk well through what lay before us. I cut out or limited anything and anyone who drained me excessively. I stopped all in home entertaining except for a couple of very close friends and relatives who were supportive without adding to our stress. I encouraged my…
