My father-in-law had been in the ICU for three days, unresponsive. His family had surrounded him throughout the days, for as long as we were allowed to be there. To my surprise, when my daughter and I arrived at the beginning of visiting hours on Thursday to take up another silent vigil, he was awake, alert, talking and so happy to see us. We were given the gift of two uninterrupted hours with him, holding his hands, and listening to him as he blessed each of our family members. He would not stop talking and reliving so many special events…
What Hat Do You Wear: Primary Caregiver, Primary Care Manager or Both? by Dr. Ronda Wells
What Hat Do You Wear After fifteen years of caring for four elderly family members, sometimes all at once, I learned the hard way there’s a big difference between caregiving and care-managing. An understanding of what “hat” you wear can be helpful to understand the tasks required, and hopefully to delegate some of those to share the load. Your “hat” also lets you communicate better with professionals involved in your loved one’s life. Most people know what is meant by primary caregiver (PCG)—a person(s) who does repetitive, daily, hands-on care of a loved one that includes: feeding bathing toileting giving…
God Doesn’t Waste a Hurt by Deborah Malone
Thank you, Loretta, for inviting me to share my experience with caregiving. This is a much-needed topic for those who find themselves in the position of being a caregiver to a loved one. My experience as a caregiver started at a very young age. I can’t remember when I didn’t feel the overwhelming responsibility that comes with being a caregiver. My mother was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis when she was only 12 years old. After being bedridden for a couple of years, she went into remission. Mother was from Cincinnati, Ohio, and my dad was from Opelika, Alabama. Talk about…
Caring for Mom, an Alzheimer’s Patient by Loretta Eidson
I had never thought much about Alzheimer’s or dementia until I recognized the symptoms in my mom. Early on, I took her to the doctor about her declining memory. She grew very upset with me for accusing her of not remembering. Though it hurt my feelings that she thought I was being mean to her, I knew in my heart something needed to be done, but I had to wait until she realized the decline herself. A few years later, mom commented her best friend started taking medicine to help her memory, and she wanted to get some. She never…
Who Will Open the Door Today? by Tess
I live in the same city as my parents. Today, they still live independently. My mother and father have been married for sixty-two years and have known one another since elementary school. I go over often to spend time with them as often as possible because I know having them in my life is a blessing. Over the past few years, I’ve watched as my father’s memory has slowly declined, and in the past year, the decline seems to have moved to a new level. As I drive to their home many days, I wonder who will open the door…
Peace that Passes All Understanding by Cheri Swalwell
I had thought periodically over the last few years how it would feel when one of my parents would leave this earth and pass into eternity. Would I be able to handle it emotionally? How would it look? Could I be there for my husband and children and surviving parent in the midst of my own grief? All I can say is God, in His great love, gave me a peace that allowed me to travel the remaining days we had with my father-in-law. It was unexplainable and yet I can still feel His overwhelming presence today when I reflect…
Could I have Done More by Mary Jane Holt
Two months before his death my husband said, “Honey, you can live without me, but I can’t live without you. You’ve got to rest more.” His words were true. I have a nursing background which helped me know early on that I would have to make hard choices and pace myself in order to walk well through what lay before us. I cut out or limited anything and anyone who drained me excessively. I stopped all in home entertaining except for a couple of very close friends and relatives who were supportive without adding to our stress. I encouraged my…
Caregiving Straight Talk Series
Welcome to my new blog series Caregiving Straight Talk. For the next several Fridays, you will hear from multiple people who have served or are presently serving in the position of Caregiver. Caregiving is necessary at some point in our lives. It comes our way in many forms and for multiple reasons. Sometimes it is voluntary, but many times it falls on our laps whether we’re ready or not. Caregivers rarely express their personal feelings when caring for others, especially a loved one. Meeting the needs of those we love is rewarding, knowing we’ve helped them find some comfort, but…
