Life Lesson: Courage to Walk Through Self-Forgiveness by DiAnn Mills

Put on your rhino skin and lace up your courageous boots. The time has come to walk through self-forgiveness and enter the world of peace of mind. The journey may be rough. Tears may fall. A few scrapes and bruises might draw a gasp. But if we refuse to step into the mire, we’ll never experience the elation of broken chains.

We’ve all said and done inexcusable things that seep with regret and ooze with self-loathing. Embarrassment, humiliation, and disappointing actions seize us whenever the situation enters our mind.

Depression can set in, like a dark shadow. We physically hurt. A lump stays fixed in our throats. We’re afraid to tell anyone. Counseling is out of the question, because the therapist might think badly of us.

Instead of unloading the junk from our hearts and minds, we keep rearranging the details and reliving whatever happened that we simply can’t walk away from. Let’s face it. We all have those painful moments. But how we handle the ugliness of our lives shows who we really are. Do we long to be strong or cower into a pitiful mess?

Being chained to the past means the suffering person never experiences freedom. Only when we are able to face the problem, deal with the issues rationally, and take positive steps to move ahead does truth have an opportunity to surface and true forgiveness wraps around our heart. When we can clear our vision, optimism has an opportunity to take root inside us where it counts.

Hope is knowing God’s hand grips ours.

Get the picture?

Let God show us His unconditional love.

Here is a truth for us to grasp. Romans 8:1 ESV

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ.

We long to rid ourselves of the chains yet we feel we deserve the condemnation. What if someone finds out? Is God the only One who knows my inner faults? Is the only way to forget, to shove it out of our mind?

Scripture says it beautifully. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)

¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

Friends, the above means for us to get past the most-horrible-thing and live for God.

The following 11 steps to emotional wholeness can get us marching in the right direction.

1. Stop the bitter self-condemnation. Face the problem now.
2. Accept the inexcusable words or actions that have you chained to misery. David’s Psalm 51 shows how he grieved his sin and begged God to create a new heart within him.
3. Confess to God the circumstances and ask His forgiveness with a determination that through His help, the action will not happen again.
4. Understand God doesn’t want you miserable. His desire is for you to live in joy and freedom from emotional pain.
5. Consult with a friend or a Christian counselor. Be transparent and trust in patient confidentiality.
6. Search out the person or persons offended and ask for forgiveness, unless it might cause further harm. If they are no longer living, write them a letter and destroy it.
7. Eliminate the word impossible from your database. Through our heavenly Father, we can forgive ourselves to achieve emotional and spiritual wellbeing.
8. Release the hurt and pain. Some people close their eyes and envision tossing the happening into the sea. However, you choose to walk in freedom, do it.
9. Learn from the mistake and be willing to help others who’ve walked through the same ugliness. Embrace healing with a positive attitude.
10. Look for ways the past can be a blessing to others. Share what God has done for you.
11. Repeat when necessary. Growing in Christ isn’t a one-time event.

Do you have the courage to forgive yourself? Leave a comment for us to help you celebrate. 

DiAnn Mills is a bestselling author who believes her readers should expect an adventure. She weaves memorable characters with unpredictable plots to create action-packed, suspense-filled novels. DiAnn believes every breath of life is someone’s story, so why not capture those moments and create a thrilling adventure?

Her titles have appeared on the CBA and ECPA bestseller lists; won two Christy Awards, the Golden Scroll, Inspirational Readers’ Choice, and Carol award contests.

DiAnn is a founding board member of the American Christian Fiction Writers, an active member of the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers, Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, Mystery Writers of America, the Jerry Jenkins Writers Guild, Sisters in Crime, and International Thriller Writers. DiAnn continues her passion of helping other writers be successful. She speaks to various groups and teaches writing workshops around the country.

DiAnn has been termed a coffee snob and roasts her own coffee beans. She’s an avid reader, loves to cook, and believes her grandchildren are the smartest kids in the universe. She and her husband live in sunny Houston, Texas.

DiAnn is very active online and would love to connect with readers on: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Goodreads, BookBub, YouTube, LinkedIn or her website: diannmills.com

Be on the lookout for DiAnn’s newest release!

Concrete Evidence releases October 4, 2022