A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)
Red-faced, hands thrashing through the air, mouth spewing anger settles nothing other than the self-satisfaction of telling someone off in a display of embarrassing behavior. Some may refer to the episode as “blowing a gasket.”
Be honest. Have you ever experienced a moment like this?
One time, twenty years ago, during my son’s rebellious and disrespectful young adult years, anger got the best of me. I literally screamed and pounded my head against the wall in total frustration because he refused to do what I asked of him. I backed against the door and slid to the floor, crying.
It takes a lot to make me mad, but that day he pushed me beyond my emotional limits. Sad to admit, I probably went into an all-out rage. That kind of behavior is not my nature, and I regretted my outburst and lack of self-control.
Afterward, I prayed and asked for God’s forgiveness, and my son’s. My actions did not settle the issue. It left me in a quagmire of remorse. Several days passed before I could forgive myself and let go of that awful outburst. A place I never want to go again, and to this day, I haven’t, but only by the grace of God.
Flying off at the mouth was ridiculously out of character for me. I allowed hurt from his defiance to push me over the cliff into a realm I’d never been before. It was I who suffered the consequences, not him.
It doesn’t pay to snap, be rude, or make critical remarks. Belittling others only reflects the condition of our hearts.
The book of Proverbs is full of life-giving verses, even one-liners. They touch on every aspect of living a life pleasing to God. I’ve read, reread, and quoted Proverbs 15:1 many times since then, reminding myself that it’s fruitless to respond to others in an angry tone. Not only does it put them on the defensive and stir their anger, but it also lowers your standard and Christian witness.
I learned quickly to bite my tongue, evaluate my response, and select my words wisely before speaking during a disagreement. Now, I purposefully pay attention to the inflection in my voice and use a soft tone during those situations.
Like the scripture says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Award-winning author Loretta Eidson loves writing romantic suspense. She won the 2023 Romance Novel of the Year in AWSA’s Golden Scroll Awards and was a finalist in the 2023 Blue Ridge Mountains Director’s Choice Award in General Fiction. She has three Love Inspired Suspense novels published. Pursued in the Wilderness, Blue Ridge Mountain Escape, and The Marine’s Deadly Reunion.
She is multi-published in anthologies and has articles published in Southern Writers Magazine. You can learn more about her on her website www.lorettaeidson.com.
Loretta is an AWSA Certified coach who loves encouraging aspiring writers. Tamela Hancock Murray of the Steve Laube Agency is her agent. She enjoys coffee, caramel, and chai tea lattes and lives close to her family in Olive Branch, Mississippi.
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It takes a big women (not referring to size) 😊 to admit she was wrong. Thanks for sharing your heart for our benefit. 😘
Sometimes we learn our lessons the hard way. This lesson was out of character for me and it has served as a reminder that I don’t ever want to go back to that place. This wasn’t the son who recently passed away. It was one of my other sons. Still, it doesn’t matter. Giving in to anger isn’t the answer.